Blazin’ with Lyza: After All This, Let’s Get High and Go to the Zoo! | Episode 1

Roll Up with Lyza

Lyza is a freelance writer and cannabis enthusiast. She’s spent the last decade as a functional stoner, starting as a ‘secret stoner’ in the corporate world before breaking free to freelance and enjoy plenty of bud. 

So, it’s been a pretty wild and stressful few months, hasn’t it? 

This whole ‘situation’ (crazy how many ‘C’ words we have now, right?) feels like the world chugged a whole case of energy drinks. Everything seems to be moving super fast, and every news headline shouts ‘unprecedented’ – it’s a strange new time for sure.

When things get absolutely bonkers and I just need a breather, I usually grab my bong, vape, some gummies, or my trusty rolling tray for a good old joint. And honestly, I’ve been doing it a lot lately. 

I bet a lot of us have seen our THC levels go up while dealing with all those constant notifications telling us something else really not-so-great has happened – yet again. It feels like we’re on a rollercoaster, holding our breath, waiting for the next big drop, especially with the economy. 

Seriously, it’s been a really tough time for everyone, no exceptions. 

BUT I have this one thought that keeps me going. It’s scribbled on a piece of paper – written during a moment of total panic when a world leader suggested injecting bleach (yikes!) – and it’s taped right above my makeshift ‘work from home’ desk. I really want to share it with you…

After All This Settles Down, Grab Some Weed And Head To The Zoo!

For a while there, I used to be super obsessed with how productive I was (try saying ‘personal productivity performance’ three times fast and an ‘entrepreneur’ might pop up to tell you their morning routine!). I used to work in data marketing, which meant living in a world where everything – even feelings – could be measured. I even used software that claimed to measure ’empathy levels’ on social media, so I could make fancy graphs showing exactly when and why a company messed up. Part of that obsession meant keeping a journal and a spreadsheet where I’d score every day out of 10, trying to track my emotional wellbeing. (Quick tip: don’t do this! Emotions are way too complex for a simple 1-10 scale. Maybe the Pitchfork system, though!). Getting a perfect ’10’ was super rare. Even in my own personal system, I only gave myself two ’10s’ in half a year – I was way too hard on my own happiness! The very first perfect 10? That was the day I got high and went to the zoo. My diary entry from that day started like this: 

“If you’re reading this after I’m gone, here’s the most important advice you’ll ever get: SMOKE WEED AND GO TO THE ZOO.”

I’ve never been more serious about anything, ever. After a seriously harsh and snowy winter, my stoner housemate and I were both desperate to get out of the city and find some sunshine and fun. One Friday night, we were sharing a bowl and watching the city lights from our small smoking balcony. We were tired and looking at another quiet weekend of smoking and movies – just like the one before, and the one before that. Then, my housemate suddenly had a brilliant idea! “I know where we should go… the zoo!” My eyes just lit up. –The very next day, we rolled up an amazing joint at home. We got off the bus, found a cozy grassy spot, and smoked up, giggling behind a bush – I’m sure we looked totally inconspicuous! The moment we stepped through the zoo gates, we just knew we’d made the best choice. The first thing we saw was a huge area with one amazing word on the welcome sign: ‘MONKEYS’. What a promise! I spotted the sign at the exact same time as a six-year-old nearby who immediately started hyperventilating with excitement. I felt a little pang of jealousy that, as an adult, I couldn’t publicly freak out like that! The high was kicking in, and I can’t even tell you how much joy it brought knowing we were about to watch a bunch of monkeys just chilling.  And it only got better from there! We watched a whole family drama unfold with the lions, laughed at the seals flopping around, admired a crocodile’s soft belly, and then circled back to the monkeys to watch our furry cousins throw their own poop at each other. Classic. –We saved the best for last: the black rhinos. My slightly red eyes just stared at the rhino. Watching it munch on hay, this huge creature weighing a ton but with a brain less than a kilogram. “Whoa,” I mumbled while reading a ‘Rhino Facts’ board, “that entire massive thing runs on plants. That’s incredible! Vegans might actually be onto something.” We just stood there, staring for what felt like ages, totally blown away by these huge, strange animals. They might as well have been aliens!As we wandered through the zoo in a lovely hazy state, I felt every single bit of stress just melt away from my shoulders. It felt like I’d found the secret to happiness, the perfect medicine: get high and go to the zoo. And when all this craziness finally calms down, I really, truly urge you to try it too. You’ll feel so much better, I promise!   Want to get high and visit the zoo? Here are my top strain picks for the perfect experience: Van City Sativa Strawberry Cough Pre-RollsThese are super easy to carry and enjoy when you’re out and about! Strawberry Cough Van City Rolls are made with a sativa-dominant hybrid, giving you those happy, energetic feelings that are just perfect for a fun day at the zoo. Love Potion Bud If you prefer rolling your own, you’ll love the light lemony taste and mood-boosting effects of Love Potion no.1. It’s a 70% sativa strain that gives you a nice, long-lasting high for a truly fun day out. THC Sour Watermelon Boost GummiesHeading out with friends who don’t smoke? No worries, edibles have got your back! Our best-selling watermelon gummies each have 10mg of THC, making them perfect if you’re just starting out with edibles. It’s all about timing: pop one of these little treats on your way to the zoo, and you’ll be feeling great just as you start watching those adorable monkeys!